When anxiety first became a problem, it was the mental anguish that bothered me the most. Thoughts of dread where racing through my mind constantly. I really thought I was going insane. The thoughts I was having were never so intense, so rapid, or so scary. Of course, I was having the typical physical effects that come with anxiety. Rapid heartbeat, sour stomach, sweating, and loss of appetite are the main ailments. This bothered me, and even increased my anxiety, but I figured once the anxiety was gone so would the physical effects.
It turns out I was half way right. Depending on the level of anxiety I was having the physical effects may go away quickly. I use a scale to measure my anxiety similar to the one above. As long as I can stay below a 5, once the anxiety goes away then so does the physical symptoms, anything above, they tend to linger. Also, as my battle with anxiety went on I experienced new physical effects I didn't foresee coming.
During my most recent panic attacks, I started to experience dizziness. However, with the dizziness combined with the other physical ailments it felt as though my reality was distorted, like I was sinking into the depths of my anxiety, I found it difficult to get a grip. Additionally, I was weak and felt like I was going to pass out. When new physical symptoms come along this only increases my anxiety/panic, so as usual everything seems to spiral out of control.
After a period of severe anxiety or panic attack, although I may feel calm the physical symptoms take a toll on my body. Because my muscles were so tense while I was anxious, even after my episode, my body is still extremely tense and aches severely. Severe anxiety without fail always brings a loss of appetite, and its takes days before my stomach is settled and I can eat regularly again.
About 9 months ago, I started to loose weight. It had been a while since I had severe anxiety, so I attributed it my new exercise routine. I wasn't losing an enormous amount of weight, but just a pound or two every month. Eventually, I stopped my exercise routine, but the pounds continued to shed. After 9 months I had almost lost 20 pounds. I went from 135lbs to almost 115lbs, so at this point I decided to see my doctor. I had a round of blood test and everything came back as normal. I told her since losing weight; I had an increasing loss of appetite. I ate way less thin I used to and even had trouble finishing all the food on my plate since I became so thin. I told her anxiety had been under control (which it had been for several months) so I was sure it wasn’t anxiety causing this. She then suggested that perhaps I lost my appetite first so then I lost weight. That didn't make sense to me. I know when my anxiety it effecting me and I know when it's under control as well and for the last 9 months or so my episodes were at the lowest ever. Her suggestion: eat more. I tried this, and I had small success, I was able to eat a little more, but not enough to gain much weight. After another couple months I went back to the doctor and had another round of blood test, and still nothing. I was perfectly fine. Great. I hate to say this, but I was hoping they would find something wrong with me because if I am fine, then my doctor had to be right. I lost my appetite first, and I knew from experience that this could only be caused by anxiety. This saddened me because it only proved to me my lack of self-awareness. After my second visit with my doctor she put me on an appetite simulant, and it worked marvelously. My appetite is back and I have almost gained all the weight back.
It always seems that once you understand anxiety, something new always sneaks up and you have to find a way to deal with it. Another dreadful unforeseen physical ailment was sexual performance. This is probably one of the hardest things for someone with anxiety to discuss... especially men. This, however, deserves its own post, so look out for that post soon.
Please share how anxiety has challenged you mentally, physically and how it has changed you in either respect.
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